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| My neighbors really went all out with their rooftop decorating this year. - Liz |
Happy holidays, y'all! In the coming year, we're going to start running comedy pieces on the site, along with our regular interviews and columns. Email me at editor@womenincomedyfestival.com if you're interested in seeing your writing featured!
In the spirit of the season, I'd like to share some song lyrics I wrote a few years ago. This was performed during a Latchkey Kids show in 2009, at ImprovBoston. What I love about working with the same sketch troupe repeatedly is that, over time, you really get to learn each other's voices. This was written with the dulcet tones of the wonderful Ken Breese in mind, and I thought he killed it.
This Year, I Gave Up On Christmas
With Apologies to Meredith Willson
By Liz McKeon. Written for Ken Breese.
(to the tune of "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas)
It quit trying to look at all like Christmas
It's the same thing ev'ry year;
Take a look at the crowd outside dazed and hollow-eyed
With three more months of fuckin' cold to fear.
No one's smiling, all they can do is bitch 'cause
Rel'tives were a bore
Their gifts were all full of crap, they won't get off your fuckin' back
Behind your own damn door.
A nice dinner a few laughs really all that I asked
From my god damn family;
Shit's what I got and an ulcer on top
Of the ajita they gave me;
Quit askin' me when I'll be married with three kids for Christ's sake Jesus fuckin' SHUT UP.
Pause to compose yourself.
I'm really tired of trying to give a shit 'cause
Weather sucks like a 'ho;
Nothing 'til Valentine's Day, which is a made up holiday,
On Presidents' Day I've got nowhere to go.
On a diet to get rid of holiday bitch tits
'Cause I've got one foot out the door,
And I'm just getting my ass in gear knowing that next year
I'll move somewhere warm.
Where is the Blogger "like" button? 'Cause this is the best thing EVER.
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