Three More Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around
By Courtney Pape, WICF Guest Blog Contributor
[Courtney Pape is an actor, writer and comedian who lives in Los Angeles and dreams of being bi-coastal. Follow her on twitter @courtpape to see if it happens and laugh in the meantime.]
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| Courtney Pape |
In Part One of “Girls Should Date Less and F*ck Around More” I called out to women to make self-discovery the new standard prep before finding a boyfriend. Instead of going on crazy diets, going into credit card debt for the latest fashion trends and going on social media to cultivate a perfectly tailored persona that doesn’t even begin to encapsulate who we are as people in order to attract a guy, let’s focus on ourselves.
Once we enter a relationship, if we’re not prepared, it can be easy for women to nurture and care for their significant other while neglecting to nurture and care for herself. So Ladies: let’s strengthen ourselves as much as we can before we commit to someone so together we can build a life together, instead of cleaning up the wreckages of our pasts.
Three MORE Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around:
1. F*ck around with…FRIENDS
We don’t need to have a designated activity to spend time with our friends. Kick back with them and just do nothing. Have no plans. See what happens. What did we do with our friends when we were kids? We just played. We just showed up to our play date and figured out in the moment whether we would play “Pretty Pretty Princess” or Mermaids in the pool. So let’s take a note from our childhood selves and be more carefree. Let’s also continue playing “Pretty Pretty Princess”…who’s with me?
2. F*ck around with…EXERCISE
The older we get, the more we need exercise just to feel good. Or even normal. (And sex alone is not enough of an exercise regimen to stay healthy for all you jack rabbits out there!) As our lives get bigger, especially with a relationship and/or kids, we might not have the time or energy to get to that 7am spinning class. So f*ck around with different exercise classes, try different machines at the gym, look up good walking or hiking paths around you. Just switch it up! The more routine taking care of our bodies is before we have a relationship and/or a family, the more likely we won’t abandon the practice once we’ve committed to someone else.
3. F*ck around with…RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY
Are you religious or spiritual? Awesome! Take this time when you’re alone to deepen your connection to God, the Universe, Penelope Cruz’ hair, whatever you want to call it. This deeper connection will not only calm your crazy thoughts of, “I can’t believe Jessica is getting married!?! I’m so much prettier than her and I don’t even have a boyfriend. How does that make sense?” but it will also bring forth a guy on the same religious/spiritual path that you are on.
Are you NOT religious or spiritual? Awesome! Now is a great time to delve further into your beliefs or non-beliefs. Read and talk to people who share your thoughts, that way if a gorgeous JFK-looking guy wants you to convert for marriage you’ll know if religion is something you’re willing to compromise on or if it’s a deal breaker.
And I would encourage all of us, no matter what we do or don’t believe to keep an open mind and curiosity when it comes to all this stuff. Learn about different religions and spiritual practices, even if you think they’re bullshit. Because who knows? Maybe they do or say one thing you agree with or that helps you. Or maybe you’ll walk out thinking everyone in there is a lunatic, but any information and experience only strengthens who you are and what you believe in.
Once we enter a relationship, if we’re not prepared, it can be easy for women to nurture and care for their significant other while neglecting to nurture and care for herself. So Ladies: let’s strengthen ourselves as much as we can before we commit to someone so together we can build a life together, instead of cleaning up the wreckages of our pasts.
Three MORE Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around:
1. F*ck around with…FRIENDS
We don’t need to have a designated activity to spend time with our friends. Kick back with them and just do nothing. Have no plans. See what happens. What did we do with our friends when we were kids? We just played. We just showed up to our play date and figured out in the moment whether we would play “Pretty Pretty Princess” or Mermaids in the pool. So let’s take a note from our childhood selves and be more carefree. Let’s also continue playing “Pretty Pretty Princess”…who’s with me?
2. F*ck around with…EXERCISE
The older we get, the more we need exercise just to feel good. Or even normal. (And sex alone is not enough of an exercise regimen to stay healthy for all you jack rabbits out there!) As our lives get bigger, especially with a relationship and/or kids, we might not have the time or energy to get to that 7am spinning class. So f*ck around with different exercise classes, try different machines at the gym, look up good walking or hiking paths around you. Just switch it up! The more routine taking care of our bodies is before we have a relationship and/or a family, the more likely we won’t abandon the practice once we’ve committed to someone else.
3. F*ck around with…RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY
Are you religious or spiritual? Awesome! Take this time when you’re alone to deepen your connection to God, the Universe, Penelope Cruz’ hair, whatever you want to call it. This deeper connection will not only calm your crazy thoughts of, “I can’t believe Jessica is getting married!?! I’m so much prettier than her and I don’t even have a boyfriend. How does that make sense?” but it will also bring forth a guy on the same religious/spiritual path that you are on.
Are you NOT religious or spiritual? Awesome! Now is a great time to delve further into your beliefs or non-beliefs. Read and talk to people who share your thoughts, that way if a gorgeous JFK-looking guy wants you to convert for marriage you’ll know if religion is something you’re willing to compromise on or if it’s a deal breaker.
And I would encourage all of us, no matter what we do or don’t believe to keep an open mind and curiosity when it comes to all this stuff. Learn about different religions and spiritual practices, even if you think they’re bullshit. Because who knows? Maybe they do or say one thing you agree with or that helps you. Or maybe you’ll walk out thinking everyone in there is a lunatic, but any information and experience only strengthens who you are and what you believe in.
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